A Map for Seeing the Good in Yourself
Adar is not only a special month because of Purim; it is special because of the four parashiot: Parashat Shekalim (Shemot 30:11-16), Parashat Zachor (Devarim 25:17-19), Parashat Parah (Bamidbar19:1-22), and Parashat ha-Chodesh (Shemot 12:1-20). In Likutei Halachot, Hilchot Hashkamat ha-Boker 1:12, R' Natan of Breslov illuminates how these four parashiot form a single, coherent arc that teach the importance of seeing the good points and judging oneself for merit.
Parashat Shekalim, read on the first Shabbat of Adar, speaks of the half-shekel contribution to the Mishkan. R' Natan explains that this parashah corresponds to tzedakah – understood as charity or righteousness: פָּרָשַׁת שְׁקָלִים – בְּחִינַת צְדָקָה, כִּי צְדָקָה זֶה בְּחִינַת (מיכה ז, כ) ״חֶסֶד לְאַבְרָהָם״, שֶׁעָשָׂה צְדָקָה וָחֶסֶד עִם כָּל הָעוֹלָם (Parashat Shekalim is the aspect of tzedakah, for tzedakah is the aspect of [Michah 7:20] 'chesed to Avraham' who practiced tzedakah and chesed with the whole world). Avraham not only brought true chesed into the world, he taught it to the world – not only through words, but by his living example, as it says (Bereshit 21:33): וַיִּטַּע אֶשֶׁל בִּבְאֵר שָׁבַע (And he planted an eishel in Be'er Sheva).
What exactly was the nature of this eishel? One opinion in the Gemara describes it as an orchard while another opinion says it was a guesthouse (Sotah 10a). Rashi writes that the purpose of the eishel was לְהָבִיא מִמֶּנוּ פֵּרוֹת לָאוֹרְחִים בַּסְּעוּדָה (to bring from it fruits for the guests at the meal). Chazal are not arguing about what it was; they are debating which aspect was most central. Avraham ran a 'spiritual retreat' where people could disconnect from the hustle and bustle of the world and connect instead to the Creator of the Universe. This is exactly what R' Natan was referring to when he writes that Avraham practiced tzedakah and chesed.
But the purpose of this eishel wasn't just to be generous and kind to people. It had a deeper purpose: שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה יְכוֹלִין לִמְצֹא הַנְּקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת (That through this, they were able to find the good points). By giving tzedakah to people in need, Avraham helped them wake up from their spiritual slumber so they could find good points within themselves. And when a person sees his good points, he is able to draw near to Hashem: שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי צְדָקָה מְעוֹרְרִין הַטּוֹב שֶׁנֶּעֱלָם וְנִסְתָּר בִּמְקוֹמוֹת הָרְחוֹקִים מֵהַשֵּׁם־יִתְבָּרַךְ (For through tzedakah, they awakened the good that was concealed and hidden in places that are distant from Hashem, may He be blessed).
Next, on the Shabbat preceding Purim, we read Parashat Zachor, which focuses our minds on the war against Amalek. Now how does this parashah connect with Shekalim? R' Natan states: כִּי עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה שֶׁמּוֹצְאִין הַטּוֹב כַּנַּ״ל, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה נִכְנַע עֲמָלֵק (By finding the good, as mentioned above, Amalek is subdued). What exactly does Amalek represent? Continuing on: שֶׁהוּא תֹּקֶף הַסִּטְרָא אַחֲרָא שֶׁמִּתְגַּבֵּר, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, לְהַפִּיל אֶת הַחֲלוּשֵׁי כֹּחַ שֶׁבְּיִשְׂרָאֵל כְּאִלּוּ אֵין לָהֶם תִּקְוָה עוֹד, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם (It represents the force of the Sitra Achra which strengthens itself, chas v'shalom, to make those of weakened strength in Yisrael fall, as if they no longer had hope, chas v'shalom). Amalek is the force of depression, despair, and hopelessness in the face of one's own sins. Although it is a potent, destructive force, it is not invincible. And how do we defeat it? Since Parashat Zachor follows Parashat Shekalim, which corresponds to awakening from spiritual slumber and judging oneself favorably, we learn that this is precisely how we wage the war against Amalek.
The pasuk says that Amalek attacked Yisrael soon after they left Egypt (Devarim 25:17): זָכוֹר אֵת אֲשֶׁר־עָשָׂה לְךָ עֲמָלֵק בַּדֶּרֶךְ בְּצֵאתְכֶם מִמִּצְרָיִם (Remember that which Amalek did to you, on the road, in your departure from Egypt). Why davka then? Because it was precisely by discovering their good points within their fallen state that they were able to leave behind their inner slavery. This is why Amalek was only able to pick off the weak (Devarim 25:18): אֲשֶׁר קָרְךָ בַּדֶּרֶךְ וַיְזַנֵּב בְּךָ כׇּל־הַנֶּחֱשָׁלִים אַחֲרֶיךָ וְאַתָּה עָיֵף וְיָגֵעַ וְלֹא יָרֵא אֱלֹקִים׃ (How he met you on the road and picked off those in the rear, all those who were weakened behind you, and you were tired and exhausted, and he didn't fear G‑d). The nature of their weakened condition was not just literal, but spiritual. Even though they had left Egypt, they still hadn't left behind their despondency and discouragement. However, those who had strengthened themselves by finding their good points were able to protect themselves against Amalek: אֲבָל כְּשֶׁזּוֹכִין לִמְצֹא בְּעַצְמוֹ הַנְּקֻדָּה טוֹבָה אֲפִלּוּ בְּעֵת נְפִילָתוֹ, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה נִכְנַע עֲמָלֵק (But when one merits to find in himself the point of good, even at the time of his fall, chas v'shalom, through this Amalek is subdued). The bottom line is this: Amalek cannot defeat someone who finds his good points.
After Purim, we read Parashat Parah, corresponding to teshuvah, in the aspect of: תָּבֹא אִמּוֹ וּתְקַנֵּחַ עַל בְּנָהּ כִּי עַל־יְדֵי הַנְּקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת שֶׁמּוֹצְאִין עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה נִכְנַע הָרַע בְּחִינַת עֲמָלֵק וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה זוֹכִין בֶּאֱמֶת לִתְשׁוּבָה כַּנַּ״ל (Let the mother come and clean up after her son, for through the good points that he finds, the bad is subdued, i.e. the aspect of Amalek, and through this, one truly merits teshuvah). How does the subjugation of Amalek actually lead to teshuvah?
Sin can bring a person into a state of דִּינָא קַשְׁיָא [dina kashya, harsh judgment] – a condition of intensified judgment in which he feels spiritually crushed. This corresponds to the parah adumah – the red heifer. But the parah is not just red, she is also temimah – without blemish – invoking the notion of innocence, or a softening of judgment, i.e., דִּינָא רַפְיָא [dina rafya]. So how can the parah represent both dina kashya and dina rafya at the same time? The paradox is resolved when one finds the good points that he still possesses. Although sin can subject an individual to dina kashya – strict judgment – medication is available, and R' Natan defines the nature of that medication: צָרִיךְ לְרַפּוֹת הַדִּין עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁמּוֹצֵא בְּעַצְמוֹ אֵיזֶה נְקֻדָּה טוֹבָה עֲדַיִן (He needs to mitigate the din by finding in himself some good point still).
Therefore, the initial goal is not to analyze the sin – for that might lead to an even stronger crushing effect. Rather, he must proceed straight to mitigation, and the way to do that is by finding the good in himself. That's how the din is mitigated and how dina kashya transforms into dina rafya. The transformation takes place specifically because the parah is not only adumah but also temimah – she is pure and unblemished as well as red. And in truth, she isn't bad at all, for she corresponds to what Shlomo ha-Melech wrote (Shir ha-Shirim 1:5): שְׁחוֹרָה אֲנִי וְנָאוָה (I am black and beautiful). How is it possible that she is black because of the sin of the golden calf, and yet beautiful at the same time? The blackness is merely external; the good points are still there. They're just buried – and they need to be brought to the surface.
Another layer within the mystery of the parah adumah reveals how teshuvah truly emerges from this process. The greater paradox is that the parah comes to מְטַהֵר טְמֵאִים וּמְטַמֵּא טְהוֹרִים (purify the impure and make impure the pure). Purifying the impure corresponds to elevating the lowly: כִּי זֹאת הַבְּחִינָה מַה שֶּׁדָּן אֶת עַצְמוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת וּמוֹצֵא בְּעַצְמוֹ נְקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת (This is the aspect of judging oneself favorably and finding within oneself good points). But the parah also makes impure the pure. How so? 'Pure' here is not pure in an absolute sense, but pure in a referential sense – pure in one's own eyes: אֲבָל מִי שֶׁהוּא טָהוֹר, כְּשֶׁיַּחֲזִיק עַצְמוֹ בְּמַדְרֵגַת הַטּוֹב – בְּוַדַּאי נִפְגַּם עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה כִּי יִפּוֹל לְגַדְלוּת, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם (But one who is 'pure' – when he considers himself at the level of good – he will certainly be harmed by this for he will fall into arrogance, chas v'shalom). So the parah works in two directions – to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable. And yet, if you consider carefully, you will see that both processes, although seemingly in opposite direction, can lead the individual to teshuvah.
Finally, on the last Shabbat of Adar, just before the new year begins, we read Parashat ha-Chodesh to invoke the merit of the first mitzvah given to Yisrael as a nation: the sanctification of the new month. According to R' Natan, this corresponds to our renewal – specifically, sanctified renewal born from a single point of light – which corresponds to the deeper meaning of rectifying the blemish of the moon: כִּי זֶה יָדוּעַ שֶׁכְּשֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל הֵם חַס וְשָׁלוֹם בְּמַדְרֵגָה פְּחוּתָה – זֶה בְּחִינַת פְּגַם הַלְּבָנָה, קִטְרוּג הַיָּרֵחַ, שֶׁמִּשָּׁם בָּאִים כָּל הַפְּגָמִים וְהַחֲטָאִים, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם (For it is known that when Yisrael are, chas v'shalom, on a low level, this corresponds to the blemish of the moon – the accusation of the moon – from which all blemishes and sins emerge, chas v'shalom).
The previous month ended in total darkness – extinguishing the light of the moon. Apparently, there is no remaining point of light – no good point left. But this is not true. The moon will be reborn. A new point of light will emerge. As R' Natan explains: כִּי בִּתְחִלַּת הַחֹדֶשׁ, בְּעֵת שֶׁרוֹאִין אֶת הַלְּבָנָה לְקַדֵּשׁ אוֹתָהּ בְּבֵית דִּין, אֲזַי הִיא קְטַנָּה וְדַקָּה מְאֹד מְאֹד (For at the beginning of the month, when we see the moon to sanctify it by Beit Din, then it is small and exceedingly thin). At that moment, when the moon becomes relit with a small trace of light – corresponding to our renewal – at that very moment, when each Jew is looking at the moon to find that speck of light, Beit Din declares מְקֻדָּשׁ מְקֻדָּשׁ (It is sanctified. It is sanctified). Even though the good point that we find can be infinitesimally small, we, as an aspect of the moon, become rectified and renewed. We become truly sanctified! And all this happens precisely because we judged ourselves favorably even in the midst of our fallen state, chas v'shalom.
So the full arc, from Shekalim to ha-Chodesh, takes each one of us from our hidden goodness, to the breaking of despair, to self-judgment and teshuvah, and finally to renewal and rebirth.
This is how we must live our lives: from a spark of goodness to a redeemed future.
